乐播传媒

The setting was relaxing, a bright and comfortable first-floor lounge in Chu Hall, for discussing a topic that can seem taxing: the college search.

Held last Saturday morning, the Reunion session gave alumni and their college-bound some practical and heartening advice from three admission experts.

The offerings came from Darryl Uy, who is director of admission at 乐播传媒, and fellow admission experts Aya Murata 鈥�92 and Katie Moran Madden 鈥�93.

Here are a few tips and observations from the session.

Reverse Your Thinking

鈥淔amilies sometimes go at the college process backwards,鈥� said Uy, who joined 乐播传媒 in 2016. 鈥淭hey have an idea of where they want to go to college, then they do everything they can to get there.鈥�

Instead, he suggested, the process should 鈥渟tart with you, the student 鈥� who you are, what you are interested in, and what you might want to do. Then find the schools that match your values and interests, rather than vice versa.鈥�

It鈥檚 All About the Why

鈥淗ow does a student find a college that matches their interests?鈥� asked a parent, Elizabeth Leavitt Nemirovsky ’88 asked.

The answer is actually a question: 鈥淲hy?鈥�

Because the college search begins with self-awareness and personal assessment, 鈥渁 lot of this process is about the why,鈥� said Uy. 鈥淚t鈥檚 OK to say you want to be a lawyer, or be pre-med, or pursue engineering, but ask yourself why. What sparked that interest? Is it what you want to do, or is because of societal or parental pressure?鈥�

From there, a student can ask other questions. 鈥淗ow are you motivated? Is it competition or 聽grades or just wanting to do your best?鈥� From there, students can then look at environmental factors. 鈥淒o you want a big university or a smaller college? Close or far from home?鈥�

Put on Blinders

Murata, who is a college counselor at Phillips Academy in Andover, Mass., was attending Reunion with husband Mike Charland 鈥�93 and their two children, one of whom is a rising high school senior.

She encourages students and their families to 鈥渂e willing and able to put on blinders.鈥� That means trying to tune out all the noise around the college search 鈥渁nd look internally and reflect on what鈥檚 important to you. Don鈥檛 key off what is out there.鈥�

Instead of paying attention to what everyone else is doing, 鈥渋nvestigate your own personal desires, inspirations, interests, and what you are curious about. Let that be the driver.鈥�

Try to ignore the college-search chatter, 鈥渢he advice from the second chair of the trumpet section, or your teammate鈥檚 opinion about a particular college, or what your English classmate says you are 鈥榮upposed鈥� to do over the summer. Let it go: Be confident in listening to your inner voice.鈥�

To be sure, there is no 鈥減redictive formula鈥� when it comes to the college search, said Madden, 聽who is a senior associate director of admission at Dartmouth.

鈥淪o rather than trying to squeeze yourself into some magic admission formula that doesn鈥檛 even exist,鈥� added Murata, 鈥渂e authentic to who you are. Think about the things that matter most to you.鈥�

You Hear the Wrong Things

In terms of comfort, each expert noted how the media (and well-meaning family members, friends, and others) tend to fixate on how the college admission process is about not getting into college, when, in reality, it鈥檚 exactly about the opposite.

鈥淓verything you read is about who does not get in where 鈥� and speculation about why,鈥� said Madden. 鈥淏ut in reality, most everyone lands somewhere and goes on to have a very positive experience.鈥�

It鈥檚 About Academics 鈥� And More

鈥淚f one part of you is not aligned in college 鈥� if the academics are great but the community doesn鈥檛 feel right 鈥� you won鈥檛 bring your best self to your college experience,鈥� said Murata.

She should know. As a high school senior deciding between 乐播传媒 and another college, Murata chose the other. In her first year, 鈥渢he personal fit was not what I imagined college to be.鈥� Greek life on campus didn鈥檛 suit her. 鈥淭he community felt divided.鈥�

So she transferred to 乐播传媒. 鈥淭hat was life-changing,鈥� and it was an a-ha moment that has stuck with her. 鈥淚 realized, so this is what people talk about when they talk about 鈥榝it.鈥欌��

The lesson: You should be able to see yourself in your college community.

Let Uncertainty Be Part of the Process

Students get peppered with that awful question, 鈥淪o, what are you thinking about for college?鈥� That applies 鈥渦nneeded pressure,鈥� Murata told the parents.

Instead, Murata shared advice that she picked up from 乐播传媒鈥� Purposeful Work program, specifically that adults can help students identify their interests, because identifying what interests us is the first step toward discovering purposeful work 鈥� and it turns out, a college that fits.

鈥淭ry asking your child something like, 鈥楬ey, tell me about what you are studying these days that is piquing your interest?鈥欌��

Adults can also be reflectors: reminding students of experiences, such as a favorite class, topic, or program, that jazzed them and thus might hint at a future college interest.

鈥淎s a student, you have a right to be uncertain and to explore. You don鈥檛 need to have it figured out. You don鈥檛 need a grand master plan. You can be in a place where you are unsure. That is OK.鈥�

Values Matter

Colleges often talk about their values and culture, and those can seem like highfalutin concepts to a 17-year-old. They鈥檙e not.

鈥淪tudents should ask about the values of a college and how those values are transmitted throughout the institution,鈥� says Murata because they affect student life. Take 乐播传媒, for example. 鈥溊植ゴ�媒 values permeate this community, and those values in turn become part of the culture a student experiences.鈥�

Still, 鈥渢he cultural piece is hard to get your hands on from a college publication or website.鈥� So Murata advises students to be active in their visits. 鈥淭alk to the tour guides. Take time on campus to hang out or have lunch with a student, if that鈥檚 offered. Sit on a bench and watch how people move from class to class.鈥�

Just Connect

Not all students are able to visit a campus. Whether you can visit or not, there are creative ways to gather the more amorphous information. For one, students should check out a college鈥檚 social channels or student-driven social channels.

鈥淣o matter where you are in the world, you can be on a ,鈥� said Madden. 鈥淚t鈥檚 a different way to connect but you can still connect.鈥�

The Early Decision Question

Uy has heard this line from students: 鈥淭hey鈥檒l say, 鈥業 want to apply Early Decision, but I don鈥檛 know what college.鈥欌�� Problem is, 鈥渢hat鈥檚 like saying, 鈥業 want to get married, I just don鈥檛 know to whom yet.鈥欌��

Early Decision makes sense for the student who is all-in on one college. But you need to feel a total commitment to a college. 鈥淣inety-nine percent is not enough because that 1 percent of doubt will eat at you all senior year and make you question your decision,鈥� Uy said.

You Control Your Essay

Simply put, the essay matters. 鈥淚t’s one of the more important pieces in the application beyond the numeric measures of data, such as your high school transcript,鈥� said Uy.

From the college鈥檚 perspective, 鈥渋t helps us understand who you are as an individual: What motivates you, what inspires you, how you will fit into the community, how you will inspire your peers, how you will challenge yourself.鈥�

Importantly, it is also 鈥減art of the process that you control,鈥� said Madden.

The Seinfeld Approach to the Essay

Uy and Madden made it clear that your essay should not hinge on epic or cataclysmic events in your life. 鈥淚t鈥檚 not an exercise in the bizarre,鈥� adds Uy, recalling an essay about dating that recounting the applicant鈥檚 鈥渇irst time.鈥�

Some of the best essays can be 鈥淪einfeldian,鈥� he said. 鈥淭hey could be about nothing but a few moments in your ordinary life that I can鈥檛 find anywhere else in your application. If you could take me into your life for 5 minutes, I think that is a successful essay.鈥�

Still, they say, the personal essay does hinge on good writing and an authentic voice.

鈥淭ry to find a topic that resonates with you and your experiences so your personality and voice can shine through,鈥� Uy said. 鈥淒on鈥檛 curate yourself to the point you are not authentic,鈥� added Madden.

Essay Do’s and Don鈥檛’s

鈥淚f you鈥檙e not funny in real life, don鈥檛 try to be funny in your essay. That rarely works,鈥� Uy said.

Students might think twice about arguing a current issue or cause in their essay 鈥� but not because it might be controversial. 鈥淲e want to know about your interests or political perspectives, because we are all shaping communities and we鈥檙e trying to encourage dialogue,鈥� Madden said.

Rather, in writing about a current issue or cause, 鈥渨e often learn more about the cause than about you,鈥� explained Madden. And that defeats the goal of the essay.

He also advised against writing about death, divorce, and depression. Not because they鈥檙e taboo or upsetting, but because 鈥渢hose topics are very difficult for a 17-year-old to address in 650 words in a way that is going to come across as mature and reflective. The treatment we see is often clich茅d.鈥�

A Question of Merit

To put their best foot forward, students need to understand what colleges have to do: “We’re evaluating applications from more qualified applicants than we have seats in our class,” said Madden.

To do that, 鈥渨e assess merit, and each college or university may assess merit differently, depending on their own individual communities and institutional needs,鈥� she explains.

To assess academic merit, colleges look at a range of factors, especially the transcript.

鈥淲e also assess merit through extracurricular activities and talents. We assess it through your intellectual engagement, which we glean from your writing and your recommendations.

The essay, she says, offers students an opportunity to share their personal qualities and what they value. 鈥淎nd that is about merit, too,鈥� she said. 鈥淎ll of us are trying to shape a community. And we try not to create a community of people with similar talents, interests, perspectives.鈥�

To that end, 鈥渕ake the essay about you. It doesn鈥檛 have to be exciting. It doesn鈥檛 have to move us.鈥�

Parents Who Push

Murata handled a question about parents who call the shots on college choice.

While she can play the role of 鈥渋ntermediary鈥� on occasion, 鈥渦ltimately the student does have to advocate for their education. It鈥檚 not the parent or guardian who is going to college. But it is tricky if a parent says, 鈥業鈥檓 paying so you go where I want you to go.鈥欌��

Her advice is to take a long view and try to avoid 鈥渄rawing a line in the sand.鈥� In other words, try to have 鈥渙ngoing conversations鈥� that help the parents come to see that their child鈥檚 happiness and opportunity to thrive is at stake. 聽鈥淗elp your parents reflect on who you are. Help them see how you would be supported at one school versus another.鈥�

Start Fresh

She reminded parents that 鈥渋t鈥檚 been a long time since we鈥檝e been in college, and colleges have changed a lot since we went through the process.鈥�

“Both students and parents need to start the college process with a clean slate and an open mind.鈥�

Often, well-meaning parents and relatives can 鈥渉ave very outdated perceptions of schools, and that can be difficult for some students to push back on. Both students and parents need to start the college process with a clean slate and an open mind.鈥�

Above all, she said, the college search 鈥� from the college a student wants to attend to the one they attend 鈥� is 鈥渘ot a referendum on your skills as a parent.鈥�

Instead, 鈥渢ry to focus on what is best for them: a learning community where they can jump in with both feet and follow their interests and curiosities and feel connected both inside and outside the classroom.鈥�

A Recommendation about Recommenders

In addition to controlling their essay, students also have more control than they think when in comes to recommendations.

鈥淵ou choose who you ask for recommendations,鈥� Madden said. 鈥淪o choose teachers who know you well 鈥� not just teachers whose courses you got an A in.鈥�

“Seek out teachers they鈥檝e engaged with and people who know them well.鈥�

鈥淟et鈥檚 say you got an A in math. Maybe you do well in math because it comes naturally to you. So you choose the teacher on that basis, and the recommendation that we get says, basically, 鈥楽he鈥檚 really good at math.鈥欌��

Since talent is pretty easy to identify 鈥� and since every student applying to college will have some talent in something 鈥� that鈥檚 an unhelpful recommendation.

Instead, 鈥渨e encourage students to seek out teachers they鈥檝e engaged with and people who know them well.鈥� Such teachers might be ones who鈥檝e 鈥渟een you take a dissenting opinion in class, or seen you collaborate with peers, or seen you take feedback or setbacks well.鈥�

When a recommendation shares that information, it 鈥渂rings you, your personality, what you will add to the classroom to life.鈥�

Dinner Rules

Families should establish some ground rules before they begin the college search so that every encounter between parent/guardian and child isn鈥檛 always about college. A longstanding piece of advice is for families to set aside a specific time each week to talk about the college process. It鈥檚 a time to share what each of you needs,鈥� Murata said.

And try not to have that be during your family dinner. 鈥淚f every family dinner is going to be about the college search or SATs or some college-related checklist, I guarantee family dinner won鈥檛 be much fun.鈥�